


Complicated

by CrashDevil (cjdevlin19)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Former fan, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2018-12-08 05:41:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11640081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjdevlin19/pseuds/CrashDevil
Summary: Goes with my story: Some Of This Isn't Bad. It's recommended reading, but not required.Reader was a fan of the Supernatural book series who wrote fanfics and attended the conventions. After meeting the boys through Becky, she stopped being a fan and became a hunter. When she shows up at a hunter wake, she doesn't expect the Winchesters to remember her, and doesn't expect the argument that breaks out between her and Dean.~~~~~A look of recognition crossed Sam's face. "I remember you. What was it, five years ago? You saved my ass from that little blond witch." Sam smiled."It was four years ago. And I just gave support.""Gave more than that." He chuckled."Not to you." You muttered."Wait." Alicia said. "I've known you for almost two years and you never thought to tell me you met the Winchesters?!""I barely spent any time with them.""'bout six hours." Dean spoke from his spot in the corner. "And most of that was with me.""Well, you're the one who offered pie.""Right. Pie and bourbon. That's why you were with me." Dean said, skeptically."Well, I can't think of another reason, Dean. Hoping for anything more can only be considered foolish."





	1. Hunter Functions are No Fun

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Some of this isn't bad](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5882077) by [CrashDevil (cjdevlin19)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjdevlin19/pseuds/CrashDevil). 



You pulled in front of the large house and pulled your casserole out of the passenger seat. You never knew what to bring to a wake. Your first thought had been beer, but Bucky told you he was bringing a cooler of his home-brew, so you made a sausage casserole, knowing full-well Mrs. Lorraine Fox would probably toss it after the wake. You stopped as you walked past a black Impala. You considered leaving but changed your mind. This was about Asa, and Dean probably didn't remember you.

You hugged Lorraine and dropped the casserole on the table with the other food (mostly prepackaged items bought at the closest market on the way in) and headed for the beer in the kitchen. "So, what's the word, boys? Is it 'Wendigo', because 'Wendigo' seems like a good one. Love wendigos." You said as you pulled your pocket knife out and used it to lever the bottle cap off. The men at the table chuckled before taking their three gulps.

"You're a bitch." Bucky said, with a smile.

"Well, if you weren't so predictable with your secret keywords, Buck, I wouldn't have the opportunity to fuck with you." You took a drink of your beer and cleared your throat. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go mingle with the other wendigo-hunters." They sighed, playfully, as they took another gulp of beer.

You walked through the house, keeping your eyes out for the Winchesters, who you found in the den. You were continuing into the sitting room, but Elvis saw you. "Y/n! Look who showed up! Winchesters!" He pointed excitedly at Sam, who looked down, embarrassed. Dean was in the corner, rolling his eyes at the man.

"The legends show themselves. Figured you were too caught up in your endless cycle of saving and endangering the world to show up to hunter functions."

"She says that like she knows you boys." Jody Mills was sitting on the edge of an ottoman near Sam. She was the only one you'd shared your origin story with, the only one who knew about your short history with Dean.

You chuckled as Sam looked confused, like he was trying to remember where he might know you. "Does anybody ever _really_  know somebody, Jody? I posit they don't."

"Man, we don't have enough alcohol in our blood for a philosophical debate." Max said, looking down at his almost empty beer.

"Would it help if I stop using words like 'posit'?" You asked, walking to Jody and giving her a hug.

"It'd help if you shut up about that shit and tell us a story about Asa." Max responded.

You smiled and nodded, dropping down on the ottoman next to the sheriff. "Okay. I got one. So, you guys know I'm pretty fresh, right?" Everyone nodded. "Well, back when I was as green as the twins, I was on a poltergeist. I did a lot of hauntings back then, 'cause they weren't as scary, I guess. So, I flash my fake creds, ask about anything unusual and tell them that there's a perfectly scientific explanation for the crazy shit they've been experiencing. I told them to get out so we could test the place for black mold. They ran as fast as they could, left the place empty for me to run down the remains. So, I'm searchin' the place with my EMF reader and there's a knock at the door. I open, pretend I live there. It's Asa, flashing his 'Fox Mulder' badge." Everyone chuckled, knowing they'd all talked shit to the man about that particular alias. 

"Anyway, he goes on this whole spiel about a gas leak that might be affecting the occupants of the house. I patiently let him get through the entire speech and then, I pull my EMF reader out and look him dead in the eye and say 'Guess I don't need this, then' and he sighed this huge relieved sigh, strokes his beard, and says 'Oh, thank God. Even _I_  wouldn't have believed me on that one'." You laughed and the others followed suit. "He came in, we knocked out the spirit in a couple hours and then, he took me for a beer. Spent the whole night telling me all about hunting and giving me pointers. I mean, it's not five wendigos, but I like it."

Everyone groaned as they drank. "Asa actually took me on a wendigo hunt. Maybe I should tell that story." You finished.

"She's trying to kill us." Alicia accused.

"Hey, you guys should've picked a drinking game that I couldn't hack so easily."

A look of recognition crossed Sam's face. "I remember you."

"Do you?" You said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What was it, five years ago? You saved my ass from that little blond witch." Sam smiled and shook his head.

"It was _four_  years ago." You corrected. "And you did your own saving. I just gave passwords and distraction."

"Gave more than that." Sam chuckled, taking a drink.

"Not to you." You muttered, lifting your beer in a mock toast.

"Wait." Alicia said, scooting forward to the edge of her seat. "I've known you for almost two years and you never thought to tell me you met the Winchesters?!"

You shrugged. "It wasn't a big deal. I barely spent any time with them."

"'bout six hours." Dean finally spoke from his spot in the corner. "And most of that was spent with me."

You smiled at the room. "Well, _you're_  the one who offered pie. If Sam had given me some pastry, I would've spent more time with _him_."

"Right. Pie and bourbon. That's why you were with me." Dean said, skeptically.

"Well, I can't think of another reason, Dean. Hoping for anything more can only be considered foolish." Dean's eyebrow twitched as you polished off the rest of your beer and stood, setting the empty on the table. "I need another beer. Anybody else?"

Dean followed you as you exited the room. "You're a hunter, now?"

You scoffed. "Of course, I am." You turned to him and poked his chest. "No thanks to you."

"What's that mean?"

"You come in, tell me everything is real, shake up my life and my entire worldview and then you never pick up the phone."

"What?"

You scoffed. "You gave me your cell number and told me to call and I did. I kept calling way past the point where it made me feel naive, calling and leaving shaky voicemail messages, so worried that I might be bugging my hero. You never picked up, never called back, even when I started leaving info about possible cases." You pushed your hair out of your face and looked up at him. "So, I started taking the cases, myself."

"That's dangerous. You _know_  that's dangerous."

You nodded. "I do know that. I, also, know that I'm still alive, so..." You shrugged.

"Come on, Y/n. It's reckless to hunt alone."

" _You've_  hunted alone. Sam, too. Your father hunted alone most of your life. I'm fine, Dean. I've _survived_ ; with a little help from my friends. Hunters like Asa, who _always_ answered his phone for me."

"Yeah, I _bet_  he did. I bet that lady-killer would drop anything for _you_."

You rolled your eyes. "Snide jealousy looks real good on you."

"You not even gonna let me explain?"

"Explain? Explain what? You gonna tell me that your phone was just always dead? That's gonna explain you sending me to voice after two rings? Or you showing up in Enid, Oklahoma after I left you a message about that taxidermist who got turned into a people pretzel?"

"Sam made us go. I didn't even wanna go on that one!" Dean took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. "I got every one of your messages, but things... got complicated."

"Complicated?! Too complicated to answer your phone? Bullshit! As someone who knows, intimately, the complicated shit you've been through, you can't tell me that."

"I _can_ , actually!" Dean exclaimed. "I was a _demon_ two years ago, Y/n!" 

You blanched, all anger flowing out of you. "What?"

Dean took a deep breath and leaned against the hallway wall. "Now, that's not an excuse for four years ago, just a... tidbit of complicated for you. When you were calling, I was focused on Sam and Cas... the angels that fell from Heaven. Those trials I told you about, to shut the gates of Hell, they almost killed Sammy. The only way to keep him alive was to trick him into saying 'yes' to being an angel vessel. Angel said his name was Ezekial, Cas, who was human because he had his grace stolen by Metatron, vouched for the angel, but he was really Gadreel, the angel who let Lucifer into the Garden. When I tried to get him out of Sam, he killed prophet Kevin and went to work for Metatron, who decided he was going to be the new God. _While_ that was happening, there was also a thing with Crowley fighting for the throne in Hell with a Demon Knight named Abaddon, who I was obsessed with killing. I was so obsessed with killing that bitch that I actively sought out and accepted the Mark of fucking Cain because it was the only way to put her down." He bit his lip and shook his head. "The Mark of Cain changed me. I was... bloodthirsty, mean... Y/n, I hated me, Sam hated me, and I didn't want you to hate me, too. So, I just never answered the phone."

"So... how'd you-"

"Mark of Cain." He interrupted, knowing where you were going. "Metatron killed me, it brought me back."

"As a demon?"

"As a full-blown Knight of Hell." 

"Like... the bitch you got the Mark to gank?" Dean nodded. "What was that like? I mean, I've been possessed, but that is-"

Dean's eyebrows shot up. "You got possessed?"

You looked down, embarrassed. "Yeah, my tattoo got damaged in a fight with a shifter. It was still healing when I got grabbed by this demon, Yala. Asa exorcised it before it did too much damage. No one died. It was a good hunt."

"Yala... oh, I met that piece of shit when I was... He's one of Crowley's advisors. What'd you do to get his attention?"

"Who said I did something? Maybe Yala just needed a new meatsuit."

"Demons don't possess hunters on a whim, Y/n. They do it for revenge, or to get information. They do it to kill other hunters. Why you?"

"I might have been looking into Crowley's whereabouts and activities at the time Yala took me." You relented.

"Why the hell would you-"

"I was curious!" You defended. "I heard something big was making its way and figured Crowley _had_  to have his hand in it, 'cause that's what he _does_ , so I thought if I found Crowley, I'd find the Darkness."

" _You_  were looking for the Darkness?" Dean asked, disbelieving. "You went from chasin' poltergeists to the Darkness in less than 4 years?"

"Well, I didn't get very far. Asa wouldn't let me keep lookin' after Yala took me."

"Amara would've killed you. She would have eaten your soul." Dean said, seriously.

" _Amara_? You are on a first-name basis with the Darkness?" 

Dean chuckled, but there was an edge of anger behind it. "My connection with the Darkness is irrelevant. _You_ got yourself on Crowley's radar."

"And you were a fucking demon! Who here has more to feel ashamed of?" You responded, your anger flaring back up. 

"You shouldn't feel ashamed, you should feel terrified! Crowley might have gone a bit soft, but he's still fuckin' _Crowley_. He's still the King of Hell and you ought to-"

"Shut up, Dean." You interrupted. You turned and threw your hands in the air. "I don't need your help, I don't need your judgement, and I don't need you. I've done just fine over the last four years and for you to come in and try to tell me what-"

"You've done just fine? It sounds like Asa Fox kept you alive, sweetheart, and he's not around anymore."

You turned back to him and growled. "Fine! I'll just hang up my shotgun and go back to working retail!"

"No one said you had to quit! You just can't be this goddamn reckless."

"Are you kidding me?! _You're_  gonna lecture _me_  about recklessness?! You? Mr. Sell-my-soul? Mr. Let's-put-a-bullet-in-the-devil? Mr. Mark-of-Cain? You have _no_  room to talk!"

"I have been doing this my whole life. I have been hunting and making stupid decisions since before you ever considered the supernatural. It's not reckless if you have experience, which I have in spades. _You_  have a few dozen books and some pretty words. You wanted to live the adventure instead of writing about it-"

You interrupted him with a right hook to his jaw. He reeled back, shocked by the sudden pain radiating up his face. You rubbed your knuckles and shook your head at him. "Fuck you." You turned and stomped down the hallway toward the front door. As you got into your car and peeled out of the driveway, your phone started to ring. You didn't need to look at the phone to answer, putting the phone to your ear. "Yeah, Jody?"

"Well, that was explosive."

You sighed. "It could've gone better, but... whatever. He's an ass."

"Yeah. But he's a good man. You know he is."

"No. _Asa_  was a good man and I'm sorry to cut out of his wake early. I'll be back in the morning for the burn, but... I can't be around Dean Winchester right now." 

"Yeah. I heard some of that. We _all_  heard some of that. The Banes twins are extremely jealous of you. That you... and Dean..."

"Oh, my god!" You had very specifically neglected to mention aloud that you... and Dean... "Those two are never gonna leave me alone about that. Shit."

"Yeah, unfortunately Sam has started regaling the group with a story about a hotel suite and... some very loud noises."

"Oh, no. I'm never gonna be able to face these guys again."

"Well, you're still coming back for the burn, right? Asa would-"

You shook your head. "I wouldn't miss it, Jody. If it were anybody other than Asa, I wouldn't show and I probably won't show for future hunter functions, but it _is_  Asa and I need to be there for that burn." 

"Yeah, okay. I'll see you at sun-up. Don't drink too much."

You chuckled. "Probably will. I'll see you in the morning." You hung up the phone and tossed it in the passenger seat.

You'd definitely be drinking. Sam Winchester was telling a room full of hunters that you were a notch on Dean Winchester's belt. Dean Winchester disparaged your ability as a hunter. Dean Winchester was a dick, and Asa Fox was dead. As you twisted the cap off of your bourbon and flopped onto your motel bed, you looked up at the popcorn-textured ceiling. Dean's jealous comment about Asa, and the implication he meant with it, had been true. Asa would have dropped everything for you. He had dropped everything on a couple occasions to come help you with a hunt. The man was quite a bit older than you, but you never hesitated to get in his bed, just like countless other women. Even knowing that there were countless other women, even knowing your friend Jody was one of those women, even knowing you were only on his list because he only saw you a few times a year... even knowing that there was absolutely no chance of anything real with him, you never hesitated.

You took a drink of your bourbon and stretched your neck to the side. "Asa, you beautiful dumbass. Couldn't just leave Jael alone, could you? We could be drinking together tonight. I never would have had to see Dean. No one would know my origin story. It's all your fault. Dumb jerk." You took another drink and kicked your boots off.

*** * * * * * ***

You pulled back into the driveway as the bodies were being placed on the pyre. "Why are there three bodies?" You asked Max as he walked up to your car. "What'd I miss?"

"Oh, you missed a horrible night. Jael possessed Alicia and killed Randy. Then, he took Elvis and twisted his head all the way around. You were lucky for leaving when you did, you missed a hard exorcism." Max answered.

"And the revelation that Bucky killed Asa." Alicia added. 

"What?! Why would he-" 

"He's a coward." Max answered. 

You shook your head. "I can't believe... who's that with Lorraine and Jody?"

"Uh, some hunter named Mary. She's close with Sam and Dean." Max looked from the group of women standing by the pyre to you. "Not close like _you_ and Dean, but..."

You rolled your eyes. "You couldn't just forget that over the night with Jael, could you?"

"Come _on_. Most hunters get into the gig with a tragic death, or... they're born into it. You actively chose to become a hunter because of a one-night stand with Dean Winchester. That's crazy. I can't believe you kept that story from us." Alicia whispered, excitedly. 

You sighed. "It wasn't something I was proud of.  _Am_  proud of. Look, I'm just as much a hunter as anyone else. I didn't want you to know how I figured out everything, because I knew you'd think I was less... legit than the rest of you."

"No. Not at all. That makes you more legit. You chose, _wanted_ , this life. That's more badass than anything we've heard." Max scoffed.

"Yeah, okay. I'm, uh, gonna go pay my respects." You said, stepping away. Jody looked back at you as you approached the trio standing in front of the pile of wood. She reached her hand back and pulled you closer to her side. "I'm sorry I missed the fun. Heard it was almost enough to make people forget my drama earlier in the night."

"Almost." Jody said, before gesturing at the blond. "Y/n, this is Mary Winchester. Mary, this is Y/n."

You turned, blinking at the woman dumbly. "Mary Winchester?" The blond nodded, pushing her hair behind her ears. "Mary _Winchester_? The mom? You're the- you- I thought- wow! I guess resurrection runs in the family. It is an honor to meet you." You finally came out of your stupor and raised a hand to shake hers.

Mary smiled, slightly. "It runs more in the family than you'd think. You, uh, you know Dean and Sam?"

You laughed, nervously. "Not really. I... we've met. It's not... uh, I'm... I know _of_  them a-and _you_  by extension, but..." You scratched your cheek as you tried to think of words that wouldn't make you seem insane. "I'm not exactly sure how to explain this, but suffice it to say, I'm a fan." 

"I died in 1983 and came back from the dead in 2016. After figuring out laptop computers and smart phones, I'm not surprised by anything anymore."

You chuckled, opening your mouth to respond, but noticing Dean staring at you from across the front yard you decided against it. "Uh, I... if I have time after the burn, Mrs. Winchester, I'll explain." You said, nodding at her before walking away toward your car.

Dean stepped away from Sam and came to stand by you. "Please, don't punch me. Can we talk?"

"Are you gonna make comments about my recklessness and assume that I'm only alive because Asa took an interest in me?"

"No. Promise."

You nodded and took a seat on your car's hood. "Okay. Shoot."

"So, I figured out last night, sometime before the first body dropped, that when you stopped calling I thought you'd given up. I _hoped_  you had. I wanted you to go back to your normal life, forget about me and hunting and Chuck's books." He sighed. "When you walked into the room, yesterday, in your boots and plaid with your Asa hunting stories... I realized that I missed an opportunity. Asa took you hunting and it should've been me."

You shook your head. "I do most of my hunting solo, Winchester. Asa helped... when I got in too deep. Which wasn't as often as you seem to think."

"Doesn't matter. _I_  should've been there. I should've been the one to take you on your first hunt, I should've been the one you called when you got in over your head. I'm the one who started it."

"Technically, Chuck started it. He's the one who got me interested in..." 

"But Chuck didn't make me tell you it was real. _I_  did that and I still don't know why."

"Yeah, me either. My story wasn't _that_  good, and my performance in the hotel suite obviously wasn't either."

He sighed, shaking his head. "That is _so_  not true and you know it. I mean, come on. Asa came when you called. It wasn't out of the kindness of his heart, bring the next generation of hunters up."

"You're assuming Asa only fucked with me because he was fucking me." You clarified. 

"Oh, I'm sure that's not the _only_  reason, but I know that it played a part. Look, I'm trying to apologize here and I don't think it's comin' out that way." 

"Definitely not."

Dean ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "You should come with me and Sam. I mean... I never got to tell you about that Amazon. Or... Chuck. We found out where he went when he disappeared. You're never gonna believe-"

"Look, you don't have to do this. You don't have to... pretend that-"

"I'm not pretending anything. Y/n, I've thought about you. I've _considered_ \- shit... I'm really not good at this." He chuckled at himself and shook his head. "I want you to be... Come talk to me, at least. I mean, I'd like you to see the bunker, meet my Mom, hunt with the Winchesters, you know, but... I owe you a couple years worth of stories. I never finished getting you up to speed on what happened after the Apocalypse."

"I think we're up to 6 years of info, Dean." You said, smiling up at him.

"Well, if you come with me and Sammy, we can get you _all_ caught up, and I promise I won't stop talking halfway through to have sex." 

"Who said I would even be receptive to that?" 

"How you look at me. Speaks volumes _for_  you." He said, cockily.

You gave a little chuckle. "Fine. I'll listen to your stories, but that's it."

"You gonna come to the bunker or do you want me to come to your place?"

"I don't _have_ a place, anymore." You patted your hood. "I've got a car. That's been enough for the last three years or so."

"Aw, look at you, little hunter." Dean circled around your car. "1970 Chevy Chevelle. Malibu?"

"It's a '67. A Chevelle 300 Deluxe. Someone is slacking on his Chevy knowledge."

"Why didn't you get an Impala? What kind of fan-"

"Ah! Not. Dude, Dean, I haven't been a fan in a long time."

He walked back to the front of the car, hands going into his pockets. "So, you don't write your little stories, anymore?"

You shook your head. "Nope. Haven't written anything in years. I've been too busy living the life to write about it."

"Well, that's sad. You were pretty good at it."

"Oh, shut up and give me directions to your bunker."


	2. It Gets Better

You gasped as you stepped through the heavy iron door into the bunker. "Wow."

"Welcome to the Batcave." Dean said, smirking as he pulled the door closed.

"It's weird, but... this is exactly what I imagined when you told me about it."

"Really?" Dean leaned against the railing next to you.

"Yeah. Down to the ancient computer banks lining the wall, there." You pointed down to a set of old beige-colored computers. "Imagined 'em bigger, though."

"That's just part of it. The main computer's in a separate room with a special cooling system."

You smiled. "Well, that sounds about right."

"Come on. I'll give you the penny tour." Dean said, heading down the spiral staircase. You followed him. "This is the big nerd's favorite room." He said, gesturing around the library. You looked around the room, eyes flitting over the spines. 

"Oh, my god. Is that an actual _Malleus Maleficarum_?"

"Yeah. We got some real cool shit in the fiction section, too." He gestured to another shelf of books. "First editions, all of 'em. Dickens, Pope, Jane Austen, Emerson, Thoreau."

"Why's The Wizard of Oz on the Nonfiction shelf?" You asked.

"'Cause Oz is real." You turned to him with a completely disbelieving look and he laughed. "Got a lot to fill you in on." 

"Oz... munchkins, Wicked Witches... Wonderful Wizard of-"

"Yeah. The, uh, Wizard was evil, by the way. Well, bad. The Wizard was all the bad shit out of this sweet old Men of Letters legacy. Dorothy and her dad were Men of Letters, too."

"Dorothy was- This is weird. Like, I've had my share of weird over the last few years, but come on. Oz is real? How do you guys stumble into shit like that?"

"Wish we hadn't. Come on, let me show you my second favorite room in this place." He said, nodding toward a hallway. 

You smirked as you followed him. "Let me guess... the kitchen? This place must have a huge kitchen."

"Well, it's not huge, but it's bigger than any kitchen that I've ever had. The kitchen I had with Lisa was nice, but it was pretty small and, honestly, Lisa thought I was gonna poison her and Ben so she never let me cook." He chuckled, pushing his hands in his pockets. "There was this one weekend she went on this yoga retreat. She left money for us to order pizza, but I made stuffed sliders one night and meatloaf the second. Ben loved them." He turned right into a doorway and stepped down into an industrial kitchen. He looked around, proudly. "My second favorite room. What do you think?"

"I think it's pretty great. I... haven't had a kitchen in years. I do most of my cooking on hotplates." You moved toward the fridge. "A real refrigerator. I forgot they came in sizes bigger than 3.4 cubic feet."

"Uh, don't open that. It hasn't been cleaned out in, like, a month, so..."

"It can't be that bad." You said, pulling the door open. You immediately gagged at a foul smell and pushed the door closed. "Oh, God, I stand corrected."

He chuckled and grabbed a can of soda from the counter. "It's warm, but do you want one?"

"No. I'm good, thanks." You said, sitting at the little wooden table and looking up at him. "You gonna sit down and talk to me, or what?"

"What, you don't wanna finish the tour?"

You laughed. "I have a feeling that the tour ends in your favorite room, Dean: your bedroom. I'm not here for that." 

"Your loss. My bedroom is badass." He sat across from you and popped the tab on the soda can. "So, where should I start? I've given it a bit of thought, you know, but you're in control here, sweetheart."

"Amazon. Go."

"Had a nice time with a... _fairly_ attractive woman, who immediately got pregnant and had a small girl who... Amazons come out quick, grow up fast, and kill their fathers." He bit his bottom lip and sipped the soda. "My daughter was a pretty little blond monster named Emma. Sam killed her... 'cause I couldn't." 

You looked down. "That sucks. That'd definitely make _me_ wary of random encounters." 

"Yeah. Haven't had many of those... well, when I was a demon, I was... kinda insatiable, honestly. Refractory period on a demon is something I miss. _Anyway_. Uh, so filling in stuff you missed out on, Sam was doing those Trials to shut the Gates of Hell and it almost killed him. He was gonna _let_ it kill him. He was ready to die and-"

"You refused to let him." You finished for him. 

"Exactly. Anyway, the angel that I let in him, he got turned by Metatron. Metatron made him kill- wait, do you know about Metatron and the angels falling?" 

You chuckled. "The angels were kicked out of Heaven by Metatron. Metatron: the voice of God. He transcribed the word of God into the tablets that the prophets can read. He decided to try to _be_ God. You tried to stop him. He killed you. I don't know what happened to him after that, but someone must've neutralized him."

"Yeah. Heaven did. He was in jail for a while. Jail in Heaven, doesn't that just make so much sense? Anyway, he tricked Cas and escaped." He tapped his fingernail against the tab of his can. "There was this... this girl named Charlie. She helped us with the Leviathans and this thing at a ren fair and... we told her to forget about us, forget about the monsters. She was a lot like you, though. She couldn't go back to reading her sci-fi/fantasy books when she knew that there was a real world full of monsters and magic. Against our protests, she became a hunter. One of the most... amazing hunters I..." His voice broke, so he cleared his throat. "Sam roped her into a plot to get the Mark of Cain off of me and she... cracked the code to the spell and, uh, it was in this book and..." 

Tears popped up in his eyes so you reached across the table and took his free hand in yours. He gave you a tight smile, then nodded. "She died. Killed by the Frankensteins... for the book... She was a good woman, great hunter." He cleared his throat again. "Anyway, _she's_ the one who went to Oz." He adjusted your hands so that his thumb was running along the back of your hand. "There's a witch named Rowena, she used Charlie's code-breaker to figure out the spell to get the Mark off of me. Turns out, the Mark of Cain was... pretty much the lock on the Darkness' cage. As soon as it was off, out she came."

"Wait, how did you guys convince the Queen-Mother of Hell to do a spell for you?"

"Oh, you know that Rowena's Crowley's mom?" Dean asked, smiling slightly.

"I figured it out. When I was possessed, I had access to some of Yala's knowledge. Crowley does _not_ have a good relationship with that woman."

"Crowley doesn't have a good relationship with anybody. Uh, anyway... Sam got Rowena to do the spell by promising to kill Crowley... which he failed at, so then he chained her up in an abandoned distillery and _forced_ her to do it. He was kinda desperate to save me from the Mark. Neither of us could really stand me that way. He went for magic and the Book of the Damned... I went for a meeting with Death."

"Death? The Horseman?" You asked, pulling your hand back in surprise. He nodded, before looking down at his hand. He clinched it, then moved it off of the table. "Really? You were calling me out on _my_ reckless choices?"

"Death wasn't that bad. He was actually _really_ easy to talk to. He helped us with Cas when he went crazy with Leviathan power a few years ago and he helped me get Sammy's soul back. I knew he could help with the Mark. Except... his solution, because he knew that relieving me of the Mark would let out the Darkness, was to send me away. To freakin' Jupiter or something, you know? Somewhere where I couldn't kill anybody, or hurt the people I care about. But he wouldn't do it for free. I was supposed to kill Sammy because Sammy had been willing to die after the Trials and I had prevented that. I couldn't do it. I killed Death."

"You what?"

"Yeah. Apparently, that's totally a thing we could do the whole time. Kinda sucked, 'cause like I said, Death was cool, but it was him or Sammy... so I stuck his scythe in his chest and he died." 

"You... so what Crowley tried to get you to do in 'Two Minutes to Midnight'-" You rolled your eyes at yourself. "When Crowley gave you the scythe and sent you into the pizzeria in Chicago, that could have worked?" 

"Yeah. I guess. Shit, I forgot all about that." He laughed. "Wow, there's still some fan in you, after all. Uh, so I killed Death, Sam got Rowena to pull the Mark off of me and that let Amara out. Amara took it as me letting her out, because I was the last to bear the Mark, and we had this... connection. A scary connection. I _couldn't_ hurt her. I tried. Somethin' about the Mark..." He took a drink then ran his hand through his hair. "She was pissed at God because he locked her away and abandoned her. I get it, you know, but she was eating peoples' souls and destroying shit, so we had to put an end to her. _I_ couldn't. Like I said, we had a connection that was overwhelming. So, it was up to Sam and Sam started having visions and he was convinced that they were from God, but it turns out they were coming from Lucifer's Cage. He figured that if he got Sam to meet with him that he could convince him to say 'yes' again." 

Dean flashed a proud smile. "Sammy stuck to his guns, told Lucifer 'no'." His face fell as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. "But Lucifer broke Cas with promises to put down Amara. Cas said 'yes' and Lucifer was let out. Lucifer didn't let on, not for a couple months, but he quietly took back Hell from Crowley and started plotting to take Heaven. Then, we... we track down Metatron to get info on Amara and it turns out that The Darkness is the sister of the Light." He gave you a look, and your eyes widened.

"Wait. God has a sister?"

"Yeah." He smirked. "And, uh, we met God." 

You felt your jaw go slack and your eyes widened more. "You..."

"Oh, it gets better." He stood, walking to a metal rack near the fridge to grab a bottle of whiskey. " _You've_ met God, too." He said, grabbing two glasses.

"What?"

He set the glasses on the table and pulled the cork out of the bottle. "The day we met, I noticed you had a signed copy of 'Home' in your purse. It seemed... well-loved. You get that signed in person?"

Your eyes lit up at the mention of the book. "Oh! Yeah. There's actually a neat story with that book. I was at the bookstore with-"

"Then, you've met God." Dean poured whiskey into a cup and pushed it toward you before pouring the second glass.

"What?"

"Chuck. Chuck was God."

"No. What? No, you said Chuck was a prophet." You said, picking up the glass and gulping down two swallows.

"That's what he told us... or rather, Cas told us. Chuck went undercover or something. He wanted to be close to the action instead of just writing it."  Dean dropped into the seat across from you again and slid the bottle toward you so that you could refresh your drink. "Guess you and God got something in common."

You picked up the bottle and put it to your lips, forgoing the glass. You set the bottle on the table and looked over at Dean. "I can't believe..." 

"Yeah. We, uh, didn't believe it, at first, either. But it's true. Chuck was God and he and Amara jumped ship to go rekindle their sibling relationship. So... Earth is Godless."

"Okay." You said, shaking your head. Your hand shook as you poured the whiskey into your glass, a little past half-full. "Okay. Chuck was God. Did he bring back your mom?"

"No. That was Amara, actually. I went in, ready to suicide bomb her with soul-power, got talking and made her realize that she wanted to fix her relationship with Chuck. As _reward_ , I guess, she gave me my mom back. Kinda. Mom's not quite... she's, uh, out of her element. We're working on it. Baby steps." 

"What happened to Lucifer?" 

"Oh. He's still out and about, somewhere. Rowena sent him to the bottom of the ocean, but it's Lucifer so he's definitely still around. Cas and Crowley are running him down." 

You stood, quickly. "There a bathroom around here?"

Dean looked up at you, a bit confused at your sudden movement. "Yeah. Down the hall, second door on the right." 

You gave a tight smile and rushed for the bathroom. You splashed water on your face and took a deep breath. This was big. All of this was big. Lucifer is out and about, Death is dead, Chuck was God. Chuck is God. God handed you the book that started you on the path to meet Dean and told you, flat-out, that it was going to change your life. What an understatement. Why would God have- Why did He want you to be a hunter? A memory hit you and you gasped. You wiped at your face, then opened the bathroom door. Dean was leaning against the wall on the other side of the hall. "You okay? Was it too much at once?"

"Chuck wanted me to be a hunter."

"What?"

You cleared your throat. "That book. The copy of 'Home' that I used to keep in my... in my purse, Chuck gave me that. I was at the bookstore in my hometown. I used to spend all of my free time there. I was lonely and depressed and I used books and-and fanfiction as an escape. I was looking for a new series. I'd just finished reading The Dark Tower series and I needed something else. Chuck walked up and handed me that copy of 'Home' and said... 'This book will change your life', and then he walked away. It was fairly cheap, had an interesting summary, so I bought it. And then I went back and bought the rest. I found the online community, the Supernatural Family, and it did change my life. The friends I made on the internet chatrooms, they saved me from myself, an-and then the conventions... There was this big thing when they put together the first convention and I... I didn't have time to stay the whole night, just long enough to get my book signed. When I saw that... Carver Edlund was the one who gave me the book... I made a joke about him hanging out in bookstores to get his sales up. He said that I was the only one who he'd ever done that for." You took a deep breath. "We talked about you. He signed my book and didn't give it back, immediately. He asked what I thought your character needed in a woman. If you were going to settle down, what would you look for in a wife?"

"Chuck wanted you to... what, help set me up with someone?"

"I said 'Lisa'. You had such a good rapport with Ben and she could handle you if you weren't actively being a hunter." You shook your head. "That wasn't the answer he wanted. He pushed for characteristics, not an already-formed character. I said the woman would need to be funny, a bit damaged but not completely fucked up, that she'd need to be sexual but not a whore... she'd need to recognize your value because you don't recognize it, yourself. She would have to be smart to keep up with you and Sam, strong and capable of taking care of herself but not too strong to accept help when it's required. She'd need to be a hunter, because you'll never _not_ be a hunter." You ran your hand through your hair and looked at the floor in the hallway. "He wrote down everything I said, then handed the book back. I didn't think anything of it. But... soon after that, I... wrote my first erotic fanfiction. I'd been writing for years, but never... thought of doing anything overtly sexual."

"What are you saying?" Dean pushed off from the wall. 

You sighed. "I think I gave God the blueprint for the woman I am _now_."

"You think Chuck... wanted us together?" 

"It sounds stupid, but..."

"No, it doesn't." Dean smiled down at you. "The day we met, I was drawn to you. It was like you were tailor-made for me. I... shit, I told you the truth about the world for _no_ reason. If that wasn't Chuck interfering, I don't know why I did it." He chuckled. "I'll tell ya, Chuck does know how to play the long game, doesn't he? Gave you that book, set you up to... be what I need, what '06?" You nodded. "Got your input on who you thought my perfect woman would be (spot-on, by the way) in 2010, and three years later has Becky force us to meet at the con."

"And then... you didn't answer the phone for... _years_."

"So, you became a hunter." He leaned forward, pushing your hair off of your shoulder. "A badass hunter who knows how to ask for help."

"Dean..." You bit your lip and looked up at him. "I didn't come here to-"

"Who are you to deny what God had in mind for you?" He asked, amused. 

"A badass hunter who's been burned by you before."

"Okay. Fine. We'll ignore the fact that we were set up on our first date by  _God_. Why don't we set ourselves up a second date? A hunting date. I know you've done Wendigos, but have you ever done a skinwalker?" You shook your head. "Great. Sam's on a skinwalker in Minnesota. Either that or a really angry dog that disappears after it kills. I was planning to go meet with him after you left, but... you could come with."

You bit the inside of your lip and thought it through. If you were right, if God chose you and set your life on the path to be with Dean, maybe you should let it happen. You were not, however, going to fall in bed with him again. "Fine. But I'm getting my own motel room when we get where we're going."

"All right. Sammy's got the Impala so we'll take your Chevelle. And you can tell me some more of your hunting stories." 

"None of mine are really note-worthy, Dean. I've never started or stopped the end of the world. I'm just... a hunter, you know?" You pulled your keys out and headed toward the bunker entrance. 

"Lemme grab my bag, and you can tell me about your very first hunt when we get in the car."

You sighed and headed for your car, starting it and turning in the stereo. You switched from the radio to the CD changer and moved from your Zeppelin disk to your Taylor Swift 1989 disc. You were certain Dean was going to hate it, but you kinda wanted him to. He dropped his bag in the trunk and pulled open the passenger side door. His nose crinkled as he slid into the passenger seat. "What the hell is this?"

You put your car in reverse and headed for the interstate. "Don't bitch about the music, Dean. House rules. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole."

His eyebrows came together. "Wait. Did you just quote me... to me?"

"Damn near verbatim from the first book."

"Sammy was bitchin' about my cassettes on the way to Jericho. Man, that seems like forever ago." He made a noise of disbelief, then shook his head. "Turn down the T-swift and tell me about your first hunt."

You snickered at 'T-swift' and turned down the volume. "Well, the first time I decided to check out a case was the last one I called you about. The pretzel guy in Enid, Oklahoma. That's how I knew you showed up. I saw you there, hanging out the window of the Impala like a dog. I bounced after that, but I knew you were ignoring me then so I thought... I figured I already knew the basics of hunting and the rest, well I could figure that out as I went along. First case that I did start to finish was a haunting. A little girl in an old TB hospital in New York. The Ghostfacers went there, but they couldn't find the remains, 'cause most of the bodies were burned when they died because tuberculosis is way contagious. There was a doll, buried on the grounds because they didn't have a body to bury. I found a diary that gave me a roundabout idea of where to start looking. What I found was..." 

You shook your head. "It was a mass grave of personal belongings. Dolls and books and eyeglasses and pocket watches and... all of these people's last important things. I burned it all. Several of them... thanked me." You shrugged. "I expected a fight. You and Sam are always getting beat up when you try to burn remains, but they didn't try to stop me. They wanted it to be over."

"That must've struck a cord. I mean, you stuck with hauntings for a while after that." 

"Yeah. First non-haunt I did was a demon possession Asa took me on. I was scared out of my mind, thought I was going to be possessed, even though I had my tattoo." You bit your lip. "We tracked it, trapped it and sent it home without a single issue. The vessel even survived. I've never had a hunt go so well, before or since."

"Then Asa took you to bed to celebrate." Dean guessed, twirling the air freshener tree that was hanging from the rearview mirror.

"Don't. Don't do this."

"I'm just curious, okay, because I was under the impression that you didn't do a lot of the one-night stand thing."

"It wasn't like that, Dean. It's not like I go trolling the bars, looking for guys like you who won't care that I won't even be in town next week. It was... With Asa, it was two people who understood each other taking comfort in each other a couple times a year. That's all."

"I wasn't trying to say you were like me. I'm a slut. You aren't." He smiled. "So, you and Asa were a couple times a year. Any other... non-boyfriends?"

"Nah. No boyfriends, no benefits. I had Asa and the gig and that was it."

"I'm sorry, then, that I chased you out of the wake early."

"Eh, it's okay. I got to go get some lonely drinking done and totally didn't have to deal with Jael. It's a plus, in my book."

"Yeah. He was a dick. Took Jody and tried to get us to kill Mom."

"Yeah, and he taunted you all about Asa, right? See, Jody and I, we have a very specific dynamic. We both knew we were both fuckin' him, but as long as neither of us said anything, we were both fine."

"Yeah, how'd you meet Jody, by the way?"

"She caught me trespassing." You laughed. "I was poking around the blown-to-shit remains of Singer Salvage and she caught me. Noticed immediately that my Marshall's badge was fake, took me down for questioning. Which was just a trip to the diner for a cup of coffee and some stories about Bobby. She could tell I was green, suggested I find other hunters to hunt with, but I told her that I was fine. So, she gave me her card, wrote her cell number on the back and said to call if I ever needed anything... Even just to talk."

"Ah, _that's_ why she was the only one at the wake who knew that you met us before."

"I didn't exactly advertise how I got into the business, Dean. Everybody else has dead family members or mutilated friends, I've got a stack of books in a storage locker and a one-night stand. Jody only found out because I got drunk and slipped up."

"A stack of books written by God."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know that 3 years ago, did I? And frankly, it still sounds like a joke to hear it out loud."

"Yeah, that never goes away." He smirked as he looked over at you from the passenger side.

"Stop looking at me like that." You demanded, softly.

"Like what?"

"Like you're imagining me naked."

"I don't need to imagine. I've got a great memory. 'Course, you got a bunch of new hunter muscles I'd like to see up close. I mean, your right hook is..." You rolled your eyes and reached forward, turning up the music.


	3. Heart

By the time you pulled into the 'Stay Inn Motel', your CD changer had made its way around to your Zeppelin 'Best Of' disc, which Dean had flipped to hear. You parked next to the Impala and Sam greeted you as Dean popped your trunk. "Hey, Sammy. You remember y/n?"

"Yeah, of course. It's good to have another set of eyes on this."

"Oh, I'm just here to shoot stuff." You pulled your duffel from the trunk and headed for the office, where you secured a single full bed. You dropped your bag in your room and headed for the room Sam exited before. Dean answered, midway through buttoning his white shirt. 

"Another body dropped last night. Sam hasn't hit the morgue yet. Wanna come with?"

You nodded. "Yeah. Gimme 15." You said, retreating for your room. Twenty minutes later, you were leaving your room, while pulling your hair up into a ponytail.

"Damn, those extra 5 minutes are magic, huh?" 

You rolled your eyes at Dean and straightened your suit jacket. "It's Agent y/n Collins, by the way. So you don't fumble on what to call me." You pulled open the back door of the Impala and slid in. "What are you guys going with? Plant and Jagger? Bowie and Pert? Criss and Simmons?"

"Nobody wants to be Peter Criss." Dean answered.

"Young and Gibbons." Sam said, sliding into the car.

"Which is which? I don't want to get confused."

"You really  _do_  hunt solo most of the time. I'm Gibbons." Dean started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"It's a lot easier to just have to keep track of my own fake shit."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well, it seems I miscalculated the time of death on Mr. Dylan. Sheriff Strucker found out the power went out in Dylan's house the night he died. It was back on by the time we got there, but there were several hours of him bakin' in his foyer before the Central Air came back on. He was attacked at night, I think." The M.E. nodded at them.

"That changes things." You whispered. They'd assumed skinwalker because the kill was a day kill. Now, it might've been a werewolf.

"Agents. Fancy seein' you in Burkhardt." A cheerful voice with a Minnesotan accent said. A blond woman entered the morgue, a large travel mug of coffee in her hand.

You smiled. "Sheriff Hanscum. If I'm not mistaken, Stillwater's about 50 miles Northwest." 

"Y/n! Sweetie-pie, what are you doin' with Sam and Dean-o?"

"Giving new partners a shot." You answered, wrapping an arm around the woman. 

"You know  _Donna_ , too?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, yah. We met at a party at Jodio's place about six months ago." Donna answered.

"It was less a party and more the three of us having beers and plinking cans in Jody's backyard."

"It was a lot of fun. Y/n provided drinks, Jody brought the guns and ammo and I made cheesecake."

"Oh, my God, that cheesecake was  _so_  good." You gushed. 

"I'll let you in on a secret: it's from a box." She whispered, loudly.

"No."

"Yep. Didn't have time to make it from scratch, but I didn't wanna show up without something sweet to munch on, so I hit the supermarket and grabbed a box a' no-bake."

"It's like Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray with guns." Sam whispered. 

"Long as I'm not Rachel. Can't stand her." You said, pulling away from the sheriff. 

"I like Rachel Ray. She's spunky." Dean smirked. "Seriously, Donna, this isn't your jurisdiction."

"Oh, no, but yer second body, Dave Smythers, I knew him. We went to high school together." 

"Well, we were about to check his body out. Why don't you and y/n go check out the scene?" Sam suggested.

"That's a great idea, Sam. Call when you get done here. Let's go, Don. You got your squad car out front?" You headed for the parking lot and Dean was not subtle about checking your ass out as you left.

"Oh, yah. Right out here." You slid into the partner's side of the car and she smiled over at you. "So, did'ya meet them on a hunt or did Jody introduce ya?"

"I, uh, actually met them before I met Jody."

"Oh, did'ya?"

"Yeah. It's a long story."

"Yeah?" She pulled out onto the main road. "So, which one was it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Which one of those boys burned ya?" You looked over at her in surprise. "Betcha it was Dean, huh? I saw how he was lookin' at'cha."

"Donna. Come on." You sighed, running your hand across your forehead.

"Oh, you come on. I may not be some big bad hunter, but I got eyes and a head on my shoulders... you've done the horizontal Mambo with one of those guys and I'm pretty sure it's the bowlegged one." You bit your lip and looked away from her. "It was, wasn't it?! So, what was that like?"

"Are you seriously asking me what sex with Dean is like?"

"Yah! I've been wonderin' since he walked into my station. Man looks like that, but still managed to put down three powdered sugar doughnuts... If I weren't so sure I wasn't his type, and if I weren't so hung up on Doug, I would've tried him myself. So?"

"I was certain that I wasn't his type, too, but Dean doesn't seem to have a type. Not for one night stands, anyway." You turned back to her a bit. "I wasn't his type back then, not really. I'd never fired a gun or anything. Never done anything risky or dangerous. I was... not the type of woman who went to bed with strangers, definitely not the type to dig up a body and light it on fire. When I met the Winchesters, I was the kind of woman who wrote about other people getting to do crazy, dangerous stuff, but wouldn't even ride a bike without a helmet on."

"Helmet laws exist for a reason, ya know?"

"Yeah, but helmet laws aren't something hunters concern themselves with, Donna. Like concealed carry laws and federal impersonation regs. My point is that I was a pretty timid woman until I met them."

"An' how'd they change that?"

"Uh, Dean told me the truth about everything, all the horror movie stuff that's real and... then he took me to bed. He, uh, gave me his phone number before he left and told me to call and I only waited a couple days before I called." You clicked your tongue against your teeth. "I got his voicemail. So, I waited a couple days and tried again. I tried for months, putting more and more time between calls, less emotion in each message. During that time, I started teaching myself self-defense stuff. I bought a gun, took some martial arts classes at the rec center and started reading up on any lore I could. I started noticing weird shit in the newspapers and reporting it to him so he could go check it out. I still got nothing. Eventually, I realized that I was absolutely not going to get a call back, so I got in my car and headed out to Oklahoma to check out a case on my own. When I got there, they were already there. So, I stopped calling."

You chuckled. "And I started doing it, myself. If Dean had answered the phone once, I probably wouldn't be a hunter."

"Wow. So, he was good enough that you kept callin'?"

You laughed. "Really, Donna? I bare my soul to you about my damn past and you want to know about the sex?"

"Of course, I do! Come on, give mama the deets!"

You rolled your eyes, playfully. "Best I ever had, but if you repeat that to him, I'll deny it."

You pulled into the driveway of the second victim's house and headed in. The living room was destroyed, claw marks embedded deep into the wood floors and paneling. "So, what are you an' the boys thinkin' on this?" Donna asked, running a pen through the gash on the TV console.

"They were thinking skinwalker, which is like a... an off-shoot of werewolf, but not... skinwalkers are always born skinwalkers. It's not contagious. But this?" You indicated the largest claw mark. "This is a wolf. This feral lack of control... skinwalkers don't get that."

"Really? You done a lot of werewolf hunts?" Donna asked.

"No, but I've read 'Heart' a dozen times." You stepped over a puddle of blood to check the bedroom.

"What's that?" Donna followed.

"It's..." You stopped in the doorway and looked at her. "It's just a novel I used to like. Werewolf romance... sadness."

"Oh, like 'Twilight'?"

You grimaced at the comparison. "No. The werewolf was a woman in this."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. See, her neighbor was obsessed with her and he was a wolf. When his moon came up, his animal brain ran with the obsession, tracked her and got his teeth in her so that they'd be the same. She didn't even know it was her when the men around her started getting mutilated. The hunters who came for the wolf... one of them fell for the chick before realizing what she was."

"How'd that end?"

You turned back toward the bedroom, which showed signs of a struggle, but no blood. "It ended in tears. How else?"

"Well, how sad was it?"

"Madison ended up with a silver bullet in her heart and the protagonist ended up with a metaphorical hole in his."

"He killed her? It wasn't her fault!"

"She asked him to. Didn't want to kill people every month." You turned back to her, shrugging at her upset expression. "Told you it was sad."

"So..." Donna picked up a picture from Dave's side table. "You bein' here, with Dean, what's that about?"

"It's... working towards forgiveness. He had his reasons for ghosting me, and it made me become... well, it changed my life, that's for sure."

"So, you think you're gonna..." She left the end of the sentence up in the air, but you knew what she meant.

"Probably. We're kinda perfect for each other." You admitted, picking up a brush from the en suite bathroom counter. "But I'm not gonna make it easy for him."

"Well, I'm jealous, but yer right ah course. You two look cute together."

"You don't know that. You've only seen us together at the morgue and we weren't much about the PDA there."

"Yah, but I saw how he looked at'cha. He's got it bad, ya know."

"Yeah, he ain't the only one." You responded. "But I can't just... I'm not gonna be weak just 'cause it's easiest." 

"But... he's so..."

"He's amazing, I'm not arguing that, but he left me hanging. I can't- It's complicated, Donna." You finished as your phone went off in your pocket. You pulled it out and answered it. "Yeah, Dean?"

"Find anything at the house?"

"Claw marks. Pretty sure it's a werewolf."

"Yeah, we're thinkin' the same. Anything point in a direction to start looking for our wolf?"

"No. Just a lot of blood and gashes in the wood. Wanna head back to the motel? Donna and I could hit the hospital and see if anybody's come in with a bite wound in the last month or so."

"Nah, Sammy's got a rapport with the lady doc down at the ED, so he's droppin' me off at the motel so I can make more silver bullets. You and Donna done at the scene? You coming back?"

You sighed. "Yeah. Donna's gonna drop me off."

"Good. See you in a few."

You turned to Donna as you shoved your phone back into your pocket. "Silver bullet duty. Gonna stick around to help?"

Donna sighed, shaking her head at you. "Nah. I think you an' Dean need some alone time."

"Thanks, Don. That's exactly what I wanted you to say." You responded, sarcastically.

"Oh, you know me, sweetie. Always here to help."

~~~~

You sat at the table in Sam and Dean's motel room, melting silver jewelry down with a blowtorch. Dean kept looking over at you between gluing the tips in place. "What, Winchester? What's with the look?"

"What look?"

"The look! Like you think I'm gonna spill molten silver on myself, or something."

"That's not the look." He chuckled. "Sweetheart, the look I'm giving you is... I have known a lot of hunters and a handful of badass women, but not a single one of them could pull off the welding gloves and mask the way you are."

"Oh, so this is more of that predatory sexuality shit."

"If I'm the predator, does that mean you're my prey?" 

"Maybe 4 years ago. But not today."

"You're gonna make this hard on me, aren't you?"

"Why should I make it easy? I was... this is not what I signed up for when I decided to become a hunter. God and destiny and..."

"Soulmates?" He asked, standing as you turned the blowtorch off.

"Don't even say that, man! 'Soulmates'? You know how ridiculous-" You flipped the mask up so you could glare at him.

"Chuck made you into my perfect woman! He picked you and wrote your story to put us in this exact position, and you're getting hung up on my terminology? You got a problem with destiny, I get that. It's bullshit to think this was written years ago and, hey, God has left the planet, so if you wanna go your own way... the door is right there." He pointed at the door and shook his head. "But I don't think you want that. I sure as hell don't. I've been searching for a woman like you since before I knew I was looking for anything."

"You barely know me!" You set the crucible carefully on a heat-resistant pad and pulled the gloves off. "I know all about you and all you know about me is that I used to write some good smut!"

"I know you're beautiful and smart and badass. I know you're caring and take risks and you picked up hunting in no time and have risen up to epic status in just a few years. I know you're amazing in bed and I've actually dreamed of the way you screamed for me." You looked away, embarrassed of the way your cheeks heated up at the reminder. "You deserve better than me, but that doesn't change how much I want you, how  _right_ it feels to want you."

"Don't say that." You whispered.

"What?"

"That I deserve better than you." You pulled the mask off and tossed it on the empty chair on the opposite side of the table. "I don't. How could I possibly deserve better than Dean Winchester, the man who saves the world?"

"You mean, Dean Winchester the man who popped the first lock on Lucifer's Cage? Who's started as many apocalypses as he's helped end? Who has had to watch everyone around him die, some people more than once?"

"Are you stupid? That just means  _you_  deserve  _me,_  not that I deserve better than you!" 

"Then why are you making this so difficult, y/n?!"

"Because it's too easy for me to fall in love with you!" His eyebrows came together as you ran your hand through your hair, anxiously. "And if I fall for you, Dean, and you... you push me away like you are so good at doing, then I... I'll be... ruined."

He pulled your hands into his. "I'm not gonna push you away, sweetheart."

"You can't say that. You  _can't_!" You urged. "You think you get people killed. You think you're gonna get  _me_  killed and, eventually, that's gonna make you push me away. Just like before, except this time it's not gonna be you not answering your phone, it's gonna be you sending me away. It's gonna be you putting me out into the world, knowing what it's like to love you and not being able to have it and that's not fair, Dean, it's not fair to-"

"Y/n, shut up!" His eyes were amused as he pulled you closer to him. "I will not push you away. I won't push you away because you won't let me. That's how Chuck wrote you." He slid his hands up your arms to rest on your shoulders. "Stubborn, smart, risk-taker who recognizes my worth. You won't let me get all dark and sad and push you away for your own good, 'cause God didn't write you that way. Right?"

You looked down. "I'm scared, Dean. I've worked hard, I've worked for years to be... and to let myself be vulnerable is-"

"Terrifying. I know." He smiled, softly. "But I know of a real good way to distract ourselves from the fear."

"No." You pulled away.

"Seriously?! I get you to open up and you still say 'no'?"

"I don't screw around when there's a hunt going. It's the  _'Friday the Thirteenth_ ' rule."

"Are you kidding?"

"No. It's bad juju. You know it is! Your first werewolf with Sam, he fucked Madison. Boom! Wolf. Oh, and your little Amazon story?"

"Okay, but... we both know that neither of us are the wolf."

"Bad juju, Dean."

He growled and pulled out his phone, putting it to his ear as he stepped away from you. "Tell me you've got something useful. Because I'm ready for this hunt to be over, dude, don't ask questions." 

You laughed as you sat down at the table and started to move on with the silver bullets.


End file.
